Question & Answer
Is it permissible to have love afire before the marriage, what should one do who is involved in it?

Sir this is an important question to me, so need the answer quick, is it permissible to have love afire before the marriage, what one should do who is involved in it. jazakallah


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

We begin with Allah’s blessed name, we praise him and we glorify him, seek his forgiveness and ask him to guide us. Whoever Allah guides, None can lead astray and whoever he misguides, None can guide. There is no power and no strength except from Allah, The most high, the Most great, the most powerful. We bear witness that there is no one worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers. We pray for peace and blessings on all the noble messengers and in particular on the last of them all “the blessed prophet Mohammad (pbuh)”

Allah says in the glorious quran:
Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.
Say, "Shall I inform you of [something] better than that? For those who fear Allah will be gardens in the presence of their Lord beneath which rivers flow, wherein they abide eternally, and purified spouses and approval from Allah. And Allah is Seeing of [His] servants Quran[3:14-15]

Dear brother, know that loving someone is a natural emotion of human beings! One can fell in love with the non-mahrem opposite sex, and what determines the virtue or a sin depends on these conditions:

  1. If one happens to like or love a non-mehram opposite sex, and one inform one’s guardians about it and request them to tie them in the sacred bond of marriage, then this love would be counted as good deed in the sight of Allah. and there would be absolutely no sin.
  2. But If one falls in love, and starts to meet and talk in private, and does what is prohibited by Allah before they are united in the sacred bound of marriage, then indeed it would be counted as a sin in the sight of Allah.
Thus if one falls in love, the best and honorable way is to seek ones hand in marriage.

However if one is involved in the love, where one chats or meets the non-mahrem opposite sex in private, then

Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim said: “And the cure for this deadly illness (i.e. love before marriage) is for the person that is afflicted to realize that this love is only due to his/her own delusions and ignorance.

So upon such a person is to first and foremost strengthen their Tawheed and reliance upon Allah, and secondly to increase in worship and busy themselves with it, so much so that they do not have any spare time letting their minds wander and think about their beloved.

And they should call upon Allah to protect them and save them from this evil, just as Prophet Yusuf called upon Allah and he was saved. And they should do as he did, be as he was, in terms of ikhlaas (sincerity) and remembering Allah in abundance.

This is because if the heart is filled with ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah, there will be no space left for any unlawful love to be present, rather this only happens to a heart that is empty and has no ikhlaas whatsoever.

And let such people remind themselves that whatever Allaah has decreed for them is only in their own best interests, and when Allaah commands something it is never to cause harm or misery to His slaves.

And let them also remind themselves that their unlawful love does not benefit them, neither in this world or the hereafter! As for this world then they will be so preoccupied with their love that it will cripple them and will cause them to live in a fantasy world. And as for the hereafter then it will cause them to be preoccupied with the love of the creation instead of love for the Creator!

These people need to be reminded, that the one who is emerged in something will never see its ill effects, neither will the person who has never experienced such things. The only people who will be able to relate to them are those who have experienced the same thing but have been saved. Such people can look back and realize how evil it is.”

Dear brother fear Allah and avoid things that will lead you to transgress any of the limits set by Allah, indeed being in haram love will seem to you beautiful, but get assured, as long as one is in it, one is burdening oneself with the sins that will finally lead one to destruction. And Allah alone knows the best.

I ask Allah to make this a sincere effort, seeking his pleasure, and I ask him to grant us refuge in him from the evils within ourselves, and that in our deeds. I ask him to grant us success in achieving whatever pleases him; And May Allah Shower His blessings and mercy upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), his family and his Companions and on all those who follow him until the final hour.

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